The Church of Steve Part 1

The Beginning

Let me just start this off with a little background, as long as I can remember back when I was a young boy I was able to create a list of 3 foods that I didn’t have to eat if they were made for family meals. Rather than forcing me to eat food I didn’t want to eat, my mom would say. “Is this on your list?” The list was something that she would write down by our fridge and it couldn’t be updated on a whim because when it was first instigated if I saw my mom making meatloaf and I didn’t want to eat meatloaf I’d update the list to say meatloaf and voila I got to eat something else while the family had disgusting meatloaf (just a side note, I absolutely love meatloaf now….in fact I could eat it every day. It’s funny how tastes change). Ok, back to the story…..the list had a waiting period on it. I can’t remember how long it was, but we’ll just say it was 24 hours after an update to the list I still had to eat a recently added food. Why was this list so important, well because if you didn’t have something on the list, then you had to eat it without complaint.

Now that I’ve got the background set, let me tell you about the most disgusting food memory I have ever had to eat in my life. I can’t remember the exact types of food that I had on the list besides the old standbys of meatloaf, lobster…that's a different story entirely, and maybe a few other very specific things, but they were always very specific things that we had for dinner at one time in my brief life. It wasn’t until my mom made Baked Tomatoes stuffed with Tuna Fish that I really started to hate entire groups of food.

So Tomatoes baked and then stuffed with Tuna Fish….if you think that sounds good you need to get examined….in fact I asked my mother about this tragic moment in my life and she even said it sounded gross, but back then I guess it must have been an experiment. Basically, the tomatoes became really soft in the oven and then you would add tuna fish to them after you empty out the insides. What you have left is a mushy pile of goo that didn’t mesh with Steve’s Palate.

From that day on, I had Tomatoes and I’m pretty sure Tuna Fish for a little whileon the list. Tuna Fish eventually got pardoned as it was not the main offender in the dish, but Tomatoes have never been the same since. I can eat things made with Tomatoes ie Ketchup, Tomato Sauce, Salsa, etc., but I rarely eat tomatoes because the squishy insides still remind me of that soggy dinner I had to eat.

Once again I’m breaking rule 2 of the blogging rules setup only two days ago…..I think that rule 2 and I are going to have a lot of problems in the future. I will continue this history of the Church of Steve on upcoming posts, but Commandment numero UNO in the church of Steve is:

Thall Shalt Not Partake of Non Processed Tomatoes!!

I’m pretty sure I envision one of the foods they serve in Hell as baked tomatoes, and everything is made with the mushy seedy guts of tomatoes.

More rules to come.....but if you don't like Tomatoes, you should seriously consider membership in the Church of Steve